Sex without consent

However 9 out of 10 people who have experienced sexual violenceSexual Violence
Is a general term that covers any sexual stuff a person does not consent to. will know the person who sexually harmed them. It can include people such as family members, caregivers, friends of the whānau/family, babysitters, boyfriends, girlfriends, random hook-ups, or classmates.

The most common type of sexual violenceSexual Violence
Is a general term that covers any sexual stuff a person does not consent to. in happens within the family (incest). This is when a family member does anything sexual to another family member. It could be a parent or stepparent to their child, uncle or aunt to their niece or nephew, brother or sisters, or grandparents to a grandchild. This includes caregivers and foster families.

Sexual violenceSexual Violence
Is a general term that covers any sexual stuff a person does not consent to. can also occur when people are dating or hooking up. This happens when one person does not consentConsent
Is a free agreement between everyone involved in any sexual experience. A free agreement can not happen when someone is verbally, physically or emotionally forced or threatened, tricked, if someone is too wasted on drugs or alcohol or if they are under the age of 16. A free agreement means that everyone was keen on everything that was happening and they all knew what was going on. to something sexual and the other person continues regardless. They may have been dating for ages or just hooked up that night.

People often feel pressured into having sexSex
Is different things people choose to do to actively express sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. Other words used in place of “sex” could be “sexual activity”, “sexual experiences”, or just “sexual” – they all mean the same thing. Sex can involve one person (i.e. masturbation) or more. When we talk about sex, we are not just talking about a man putting his penis into a woman’s vagina – there are heaps of ways people can have sex.
For sex to be fun, legal, respectful and pleasurable there must always be CONSENT.
because someone uses verbal or emotional threats.

This can include:

"You’d have sexSex
Is different things people choose to do to actively express sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. Other words used in place of “sex” could be “sexual activity”, “sexual experiences”, or just “sexual” – they all mean the same thing. Sex can involve one person (i.e. masturbation) or more. When we talk about sex, we are not just talking about a man putting his penis into a woman’s vagina – there are heaps of ways people can have sex.
For sex to be fun, legal, respectful and pleasurable there must always be CONSENT.
with me if you loved me.”

“If you don’t give me a blow job I’m going to break up with you.”

“You HAVE to have sexSex
Is different things people choose to do to actively express sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. Other words used in place of “sex” could be “sexual activity”, “sexual experiences”, or just “sexual” – they all mean the same thing. Sex can involve one person (i.e. masturbation) or more. When we talk about sex, we are not just talking about a man putting his penis into a woman’s vagina – there are heaps of ways people can have sex.
For sex to be fun, legal, respectful and pleasurable there must always be CONSENT.
with me 'coz we’ve been dating for 3 days/weeks/months…”

If someone says ‘Yes’ to threats like this it is not a “free agreement”. They are not consenting. 

You never HAVE to do anything sexual you don’t want to, EVER!

Drugs and alcohol can make it difficult to consentConsent
Is a free agreement between everyone involved in any sexual experience. A free agreement can not happen when someone is verbally, physically or emotionally forced or threatened, tricked, if someone is too wasted on drugs or alcohol or if they are under the age of 16. A free agreement means that everyone was keen on everything that was happening and they all knew what was going on.. To find out more about consent, sex, alcohol & drugs click here.