Hear and respect 'Yes' messages

The more attention you pay to ‘Yes’ messages, the more you’ll know about what you and others want (and like) sexually and the more pleasurable it will be all around. In every sexual situation people must consentConsent
Is a free agreement between everyone involved in any sexual experience. A free agreement can not happen when someone is verbally, physically or emotionally forced or threatened, tricked, if someone is too wasted on drugs or alcohol or if they are under the age of 16. A free agreement means that everyone was keen on everything that was happening and they all knew what was going on. to everything going on.

This means people must be freely saying ‘Yes’ to what is happening. A lot of sexual communication is non-verbal. Many people find this the hardest type of communication to understand or the easiest to ignore. When having any sexual experience, remember, you have a responsibility to listen to and respect the messages people are giving you. If the ‘Yes’ messages are there – great! Enjoy it. If the ’Yes’ messages are not loud and clear, or if they say, “I’m not sure”, or they look unsure or you see or hear any ‘No’ messages then stop and check it out.

Silence does not mean 'Yes'!

"Maybe", or "I’m not sure" are not 'Yes' messages!

Remember a ‘Yes’ for one thing doesn’t automatically mean a ‘Yes’ for everything. Keep checking in.

There are heaps of ways that people express ‘Yes’ messages - here are some ideas of verbal and non-verbal ‘Yes’ messages we have heard from young ers and from our friends at Scarleteen, www.scarleteen.com.

(You can also read the list as a PDF).

Verbal 'Yes' messages can include: “YES!”

• “I’m sure.”
• “I know.”
• “I’m excited!”
• “Don’t stop!”
• “More!”
• “I like what you are doing.”
• “I’m so hot for you right now.”
• “I really want to do … with you.”
• “I want you/it/that.”
• “That feels good.”
• “I still want to…”
• “Can you please do...”
• “I love this!”
• “I want to do this right now!”
• “I feel good about this.”
• “I’m ready.”
• “I want to keep doing this.”
• “This feels right.”

Non-verbal (body language) 'Yes' messages can include:

• Nuzzling in close.
• Moving in for a kiss/touch.
• Moving their hands/body towards you.
• Grinding against you.
• Putting their hand where they want you to touch them.
• Smiling sexily at you.
• Looking you in the eyes.
• Actively touching you.
• Pulling you closer.
• Nodding ‘Yes’.
• Being comfortable being naked.
• ‘Open’ body language, i.e. relaxed, loose and open arms and legs, relaxed facial expressions, turning towards you.
• Sounds of enjoyment, like a satisfied hmmmmm or enthusiastic moan.
• Their body rising up to meet yours